Living like a farang

As expected, Thailand is a little different from home. Some things friends had warned us about, like the bidets and plumbing unable to handle paper. Others we're still figuring out.

Water:

Bangkok and Chiang Mai have good municipal water treatment that results in clean water. Unfortunately, with infrastructure and pipes that vary in age and maintenance, it's best not to drink from the tap. We were frustrated at the idea of so much waste with plastic bottles, only to discover there are water refill stations on most blocks. You put in a whopping 1 Baht coin or more and get water that has been treated an extra time.

We also learned that as far as street mixed drinks go (smoothie and bubble tea addictions are strong) it's generally safer if they're adding ice instead of water, counter to travel advice for other countries. Little stands and even bigger restaurants often find it cheaper and easier to buy from big ice vendors rather than make it themselves.

All the icy drinks all the time! Bubble tea, fruit smoothies, and sugary ice blends almost make the 33 degree heat reasonable.

Visiting wats and palaces:

Always with a scarf ready to hide the naughty shoulders

• We did our advance reading on this one. Shoulders and knees should be covered on women at all times and men as well (though this is more flexible outside of the biggest locations). A surprising number of tourists manage to be caught unaware by this, so the extensive wearing of elephant pants by farang makes even more sense.
• Women are not to touch monks. Happily wats tend to be oases of calm even by busy streets, so it's unlikely to be an issue on temple grounds.
• On our last day in Chiang Mai we took advantage of the cool opportunity to join a 'monk chat'. Monks at the Buddhist university at Wat Chedi Luang can choose to sit with tourists to practice their English. We discussed vegetarianism, the integration of Buddhism with local religion and gods, and the extra rules female monks have to follow.

This chedi is so tall we could see it from the roof of our hotel

Food:

The best part is knowing this spa had to put up the sign because someone thought it was okay to bring in durian.

• Certain foods are famous for their strong and lingering scents, so there are specific rules on where they are allowed. Someone brought out durian on our night train from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and a staff member immediately confiscated or, tossed it at the next stop, and spritzed down the section.
• Mary has realized on this trip that pescetarianism is inevitable over vegetarianism. Ordering a bowl of soup with bean curd turned out to have seafood as well (and a shrimp wonton soup had pork, because all soups have pork here). Posted translations aren't common anyways, so their lack of reliability doesn't matter too much!
• The street food has been amazing (Thailand, duh!), but leads to a game of"what's in the banana leaf?" made harder by the fact even familiar shapes or types can come in multiple flavours. Sticky rice treats can be filled with black beans, mung beans, banana, sweet potato, taro, or just plain beyond some shredded coconut or coconut milk. Sometimes there will be surprise meat bites, but most food stalls are specialized, so you can guess based on what else is on the cart.
• It's important to avoid tourist areas for good food. A brief walk on part of Khao San road revealed almost exclusively pad Thai, spring rolls, and mango sticky rice. A good spicy curry or mangosteen involves finding where the locals are eating and shopping. Normal travel advice wherever you go, but we were surprised just how extreme it held true in Bangkok.
• In this more conservative country, there are restrictions on alcohol sales. You can buy booze at stores and restaurants between 11-2, but then not again until dinner at 5. 

What's inside this edible artwork? Durian? Mung beans? Egg? An adventure with every bite!

Market:

•  Stalls and markets of all sizes are littered on sidewalks and back alleys, canals and sheltered warehouse spaces. They run in the morning and tend to close up by early afternoon.
• The first spots at a market tend to offer traditional breakfasts, generally soups and noodle dishes with some meat and veggies. Go in a little further and you find fresh produce and the restaurant and shop owners stocking up for the day.
• The interesting section is the back. Andrew joked he'll never complain about Superstore's seafood section again. Fish are being tossed everywhere still flopping, turtles she toads state up at you, and raw meat lies out everywhere along with whole birds. Health standards are a read lower and makes you question too much when you see people sleeping in the afternoon where fruit and veg was being and processed not long before.

Transit:

After getting used to red trucks in Chiang Mai, we found out the tuk tuk mafia has run them off in Bangkok. We have yet to ride a tuk tuk as they charge outrageously for farang and have instead taken the public boats on the river and metered taxis (if the taxi driver won't turn on the meter, you're getting way overcharged for skin colour).

We took the ferry and went past numerous floating restaurants

Laundry:
This one has been weird to learn. Many places offer laundry services by the kg, but it's considered inappropriate to hand over underwear, particularly to someone of a different sex. More problematic was the silly realization that the weekend is a thing for people not on vacation, so you can't hand over a bag on Sunday. Not speaking from experience or anything.

Machines are littered about in quiet residential streets and alleys, often besides a water station. Dyers, not so much. Upon washing a load at a laundromat, we moved it into the next machine thinking it was the dryer. Nope! The enthusiastic and friendly owner sent everything through it's second wash, aw the dryer is built in and clothes do come out only damp. Apparently the second machine broke down at some point and he moved it back into the original machine to run, meaning it took 3 hours to do a 1 hour load! Fortunately it was near the hotel for AC and Mary went for a massage during the second run.

Language:
Having a couple words seems less important than large enthusiastic smiles.
Important tidbits:

• Chai - yes
• Mai - no
• Sawatdee ka/khap - hello/goodbye
• Khop khun ka/khap - thank you
• Som Tam - papaya salad
• Talai - seafood
• Hnung Cham - one bowl
• Farang - Foreigner (specifically a white person) or a kind of fruit

Health & Safety:

• Construction occurs everywhere and anywhere. Welding atop loose cobbles on a busy sidewalk? Okay!
• Going out into the street is a game of chicken. Pedestrians have to be very careful or reach critical mass to assert themselves as a large group, for all the ever suicidal scooter riders will still try to thread through.
• We were somewhat disappointed the giant dragon on New year's Eve didn't spout flames out of its mouth as we're just so used to safety being a non consideration for workers or spectators.

This guy squirted water. We were really rooting for it to be gas to light, but the guys tied into the pole likely had different thoughts.